0KnivesAndPens0

I haven't submitted any art for a little while, and I might soon. Right now I am really just practicing. Im trying out some non chibi anime and all, just exploring different styles. I have a ton of homework to catch up on before the snow clears up and we have school again, so not much time for replying to threads on four seasons but I will try. Sorry Mattison. I promise as soon as im caught up on homework I will reply. I don't break promises. In all honesty, I DO break swears, but not promises. Meanwhile, im really loving looking at cosplay. It's amazing what makeup, costumes, and photo editing can do. Im also really into a new anime called E

Im catching up on everything, so this is going to be a long entry. First of all, the negative side. Im still not perfectly fine. I still have those moments where I feel like putting the edge of a knife into myself as deep as possible. I have times where I crave that pain. I still have times where I feel like I NEED to kill myself, like I deserve to and I should. I still have times where I hate myself for everything I do and say. I still have time where I wish I simply wasn't breathing, like I could just die right there and forget about everything. Also, the nightmares are coming back. Just the other night I had a dream that wasn't exactly a

Am I my thoughts? ___________________ Yes, I am my strange creepy fucked up thoughts. Am I my feelings? ___________________ Yes, I am my off the walls emotions that make no sense at all. Am I my body? ___________________ Yes, I am my scarred body. And altogether this is who I am. I am scarred, senseless, creepy, and fucked up. So I do exist, but I may as well not.